There are some experiences connected to dying, death, and loss that carry a particular kind of weight.
MAiD, or medical assistance in dying, is one of them.
It often sits alongside grief in ways that can feel layered, complex, and deeply personal. For many people, it is not just about a moment in time, but about a longer emotional process that begins well before the final day and continues afterwards in different shapes.
Not to explain it away.
Not to simplify it.
But to make room for what people may be carrying.
About MAiD
MAiD refers to medical assistance in dying, a legal option in Canada for eligible individuals who choose to end their lives with medical support under specific conditions and safeguards.
For people considering MAiD as part of their end-of-life care, as well as for families, friends, and loved ones, this can bring forward a wide range of emotional responses that do not always sit neatly together.
There may be clarity and uncertainty.
There may be respect and distress.
There may be understanding, and also grief that begins early.
All of these responses can be part of the same experience.
For some people, grief may also begin while the person is still alive. Knowing that a death is approaching, and sometimes knowing when it is expected to happen, can bring its own emotional experience. There may be a sense of waiting, of noticing the time that remains, or of trying to stay present while knowing that a goodbye is approaching.
Why this space exists
In my work supporting people through grief and loss, I often hear how difficult it can be to find language for experiences that do not feel straightforward.
MAiD-related grief can include anticipatory grief, layered emotions, and shifts that are not always easy to name.
Sometimes people are considering MAiD themselves and trying to navigate the emotional weight of those conversations and decisions.
Sometimes people are supporting a loved one through decision-making.
Sometimes they are preparing for a known timeline.
Sometimes they are looking back and trying to understand what has unfolded emotionally over time.
This space is here to offer reflection, not instruction.
Support, not direction.
Space, not answers.
What people may notice in their grief
There is no single way grief shows up in these situations.
Some people notice grief beginning before the death.
Some notice emotional numbness alongside moments of deep feeling.
Some experience grief that moves in waves that do not follow a predictable pattern.
It can also be common for people to hold mixed or even conflicting emotions at the same time.
Some people also notice grief showing up physically through exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, changes in sleep, tension, or a general sense of feeling “off.” Grief often affects more than our emotions.
None of these experiences is unusual in this context.
Some experiences that may be explored here
Some of the experiences gently reflected on here may include:
- grief that begins before loss
- anticipatory grief and emotional exhaustion
- complex and ambivalent emotions
- family dynamics and differing responses
- grief after MAiD and how it may shift over time
- the experience of meaning, connection, and distance in relationships
The reflections shared here stay grounded in lived experience, rather than theory-heavy explanation.
A gentle closing
If you are considering MAiD as part of your end-of-life care, supporting someone through this process, or grieving a loss connected to MAiD, there is no single way you should feel or respond.
You may experience clarity and uncertainty, connection and distance, peace and sadness, or emotions that seem to move in different directions.
These responses do not need to be resolved quickly or fully understood all at once.
Your experience is shaped by your own story, relationships, and circumstances. There is no single way it needs to unfold.
If you are looking for MAiD and end-of-life grief support in Victoria, BC or online, support is available when you feel ready.
