Anticipatory Grief Counselling
Anticipatory grief is the grief that arises before a loss occurs.
It often shows up when someone you love is living with a life-limiting illness, facing a serious diagnosis, or nearing the end of life.
This kind of grief can feel confusing and isolating, especially when the person you are grieving is still alive.
Many people notice a quiet, ongoing ache that exists alongside daily life. You may feel waves of sadness, fear, tenderness, gratitude, or guilt, sometimes all at once.
Anticipatory grief counselling offers a steady and compassionate space to acknowledge these experiences without needing to minimize or justify them.
Sessions are available in person in Victoria and online across British Columbia.
Grieving Before a Loss Is Still Grief
Anticipatory grief can feel difficult to name or explain.
You may feel sorrow for what is coming while still sharing moments of connection, love, and presence.
These experiences often coexist, creating an emotional landscape that can feel heavy to carry alone.
In anticipatory grief counselling, there is space to speak openly about what you are carrying.
There is no expectation to stay positive, to prepare perfectly, or to manage your emotions in a particular way.
Your experience is allowed to unfold at its own pace.
Understanding Anticipatory Grief
Time and the Future Can Feel Different
Anticipatory grief often affects many parts of your life.
You may notice changes in how you relate to time, the future, or your sense of safety.
Planning ahead may feel overwhelming, while ordinary moments can feel unusually precious or painfully fragile.
You may find yourself living between what is and what you know is coming.
Conflicting Emotions Are Common
Some people experience guilt for grieving before a death has occurred, or feel conflicted about moments of relief or gratitude.
Others feel pressure to stay strong, hopeful, or positive for loved ones or family.
These responses are not signs of disloyalty or weakness.
They reflect the emotional complexity of loving and caring for someone while knowing that loss is approaching.
Roles and
Identity
May Shift
Anticipatory grief may also bring shifts in identity and roles.
You might find yourself becoming a caregiver, advocate, or decision-maker while still holding the emotional bond of your relationship.
This layering of responsibilities and emotions can be exhausting, tender, and deeply human.
How Counselling Can Support You
Anticipatory grief counselling offers a calm and collaborative space to explore what it is like to live with an impending loss.
We move gently, guided by what feels most present for you in each session.
Our conversations may include making room for grief while also attending to moments of connection, meaning, or rest.
We may explore fears about the future, changes in relationships, or the emotional weight of uncertainty.
For some, counselling offers space to reflect on legacy, love, unfinished conversations, or what feels important now.
We may also gently attend to how your body responds to prolonged stress and emotional strain. Anticipatory grief can live in the nervous system, showing up as fatigue, tension, restlessness, or difficulty settling.
Together, we notice these experiences with care, without trying to force change or resolution.
My approach is collaborative, compassionate, and paced according to what feels right for you.
You are never required to share more than you feel safe with, and your boundaries are respected throughout our work together.
What To Expect in Sessions
A Calm and Supportive Space
Sessions offer a respectful, steady, and supportive environment where your experience is held with care.
There is no expectation to arrive at acceptance, readiness, or emotional clarity within a particular timeframe.
Led by What You Are Carrying
Some sessions may focus on grief, fear, or sorrow. Others may centre on presence, connection, or simply having a place where you do not need to hold everything together.
Silence, reflection, and emotion are all welcome.
Accompaniment in Uncertainty
Anticipatory grief counselling offers a place to be accompanied through a time that can feel heavy, uncertain, and deeply meaningful.
If anticipatory grief has entered your life, you are welcome to reach out when it feels right.
When you’re ready,
I’m here to support you.
